So Nervous

I am so nervous about my trip, you guys. So nervous!

Why do I get so nervous?

Comfort me.

Train Headed to the Middle

All my bags are packed and I'm ready to go.

I'm taking the train from NYC to Minneapolis. What was I thinking?

So. Yeah. You may have read what I typed I'm taking the train to Minneapolis.

It's gonna be a goddamn adventure and I'm gonna find myself on that train. Well I mean, I'll be right on the train, so I won't be that hard to find.

But on the train I will not only find myself, I will find new purpose and direction in my life.

And I will love riding the rails to the middle of the wonderous beauty known as the Midwest.

The Midwest: In the middle since 1879.

Getting Out of This Stinking Town

But I acutally love this town. It's just killing me, that's all.

Look Busy

Everybody Hates Mary

Mary

Perms are #1

Mocha's Tips For Dudes #11

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

3 !@#$% AM

This morning, I spilled me Lucky Charms all over my lovely keyboard.

Now it is soaked with magically delicious milk and marshmallows.

You think that's funny?

Well it would be, if I didn't now have to use this other crappy keyboard.

I want to spend my money on frivolous things like food and clothes, not keyboards godammit.

I also want to go to sleep now. But no.

That's ridiculous. It's 3am - no time for sleeping.

Damn you Lucky Charms. If you ask me, you're Unlucky Charms and I hate you.

Although I can't resist you. Damn you.

Damn you and your weird chemical laden cereal that I love.

Alienating Boys

It's true.

I'm Just A Blog Machine

And I won't work for nobody but you!

And Mark Ruffalo.

Get Rich Quick!

I want to be this lady. Why can't I be this lady?

I want lots of riches.

And a beautiful frock.

Relationships

Happy Boy Margarine

Why is this boy so happy about margarine? Boys just don't like margarine that much, unless...nope, I'm not even going there.

All I know is I LOVE Happy Boy Margarine.

But not for eating. Just for admiring.

Dear god, don't eat it. You will be sorry if you do.

Jennifer Aniston

If Brad Pitt prefers that freaky skank Angelina Jolie over my best friend in the world, Jennifer Aniston, well then he can just go to hell.

Nobody Reads My Blog on the Weekends

So, I'm taking the day off.

I'm actually going to go, gasp, outside.

I'm scared, but I'm still gonna do it.

Check you later, dudes, if I survive.

She Will Survive

Lori likes owls.

Lori likes gum.

My favorite gum is Juicy Fruit.

I'll eat an entire pack in about 2 minutes.

Now they have different variations of Juicy Fruit, but I say, why mess with a good thing?

However, I haven't tried the new flavors. They might be the next best thing since regular Juicy Fruit.

If they could make a flavor that would truly last all day, well that would be a real accomplishment.

But I like almost all types of chewing gum.

Do you like gum? What kind is the best?

Paris Hilton

I think it's really unfair that they gave Paris Hilton a show when there are so many poor people that need shows.

LIKE ME.

And I want a the world's tiniest dog! Why do rich people get all the good stuff?

Stupid rich people.

Do you use toothpaste?

Has anybody tried these new flavors of toothpaste?

Fruit flavored toothpaste? What's next coffee flavored? Pie flavored?

What was wrong with mint?

Tell me what YOU think about this important issue.

Lormo 3000

I am bored and lame.

It is so lame to be bored.

But I am.

I baked a cake.

I took a walk in the park.

I watched Dawson's Creek for the first time.

Now what?!

Check It

Still Lovin' Socks After All These Years

HAUNTED BY MAMA'S FAMILY

God help us, everyone.

Socks are #1

I like socks.

I'm wearing mismatched socks. I've given up on the whole pairs thing—too much work.

So, now I'm just wearing whatever's similar, even remotely.

I have one short and one long on now.

Oh socks. Will you ever fail to entertain me and keep me occupied? I love you socks.

Whatever Girl

Wowie wow wow wow

Wowie wow wow wow.

Audioblogging? Can you believe it? Me, just a simple (and special) girl from the middle of the country?

Can you believe how I am catching this wave of the future?

I never ever thought I'd grow up to be an audioblogger, but here I am.

Rock you like a hurricane.

So, what do you guys think? What should I audioblog next?

Maybe I should just start reading these posts aloud to you. Then you could listen to my sweet sweet voice as you fall asleep. If you wanted to. I mean, I like to take naps at work. Is that wrong?

Lori Speaks From Inside the Interweb!

Saturday Night's Pretty Much Ok

Saturday night's alright. Why does this song continue to torture me? I think of this song at least once each Saturday night of my life. And I don't even like the song. Matter of fact, you could say I don't like it at all.

BUT, sometimes you will catching me singing it. And then you'll get the mistaken idea that I like it. This upsets me and I don't know what to do.

Some songs just go with certain events, I can't help it.

Everybody's Working for the Weekend by Loverboy constantly runs through my head at work. My theme song, really.

You wanna piece of my heart? You better start from the start. You wanna be in the show? Then, come on baby, let's go.

But the best work theme song, bar none, is 9 to 5 by Dolly Parton. It is a song for the common woman and I encourage you all to sing it. A lot. Like me. Let's start a revolution with that song!